With so much going on, we have lacked the time to blog in recent days, so I will try to fill you in & get this posted ASAP. Author’s Warning: this is a lengthy entry: You are advised to pour a Coke, kick back in your easy chair, be prepared to smile- and maybe tear-up… a little.
It is now Tuesday evening, Dec 2nd. We are comfortable in an apartment in
Sunday, Nov 30th-
Sunday morning we enjoyed a worship service at Galya’s church in
Galya came to the apartment around 6pm, and we packed all our luggage into the car and headed to the train station. We grabbed supper at McDonald’s and headed towards our train car. Safely on board & settled in- we visited, Galya prepped us for the upcoming few days, & Darrin beat the girls in some Uno (as best I remember!). About 11pm we settled in to try & sleep prior to meeting a little boy on Monday.
Monday, Dec 1st- A day we will always remember!
Barb & I both awoke several times during the night- between the train stops at different stations & the nerves in our stomachs. Finally the train arrived at 7:10am: on time (as they are known for). We grabbed our luggage, jumped out, and headed for a cab. The driver took us to the office of the “adoption inspector”. We arrived around 7:50, but she doesn’t arrive until 9am. So we waited in the car with the driver. At 9am we met the gentleman who would take over our care in Donetsk- Ostap. So following Galya & Ostap, we made our way into the inspector’s office. She received us & began to complete a paper for us to carry to the orphanage that would announce our right to see the boy. Very quick & easy process, Gayla & Ostap handled everything, we just sat & watched (which is what we had hoped for- no wrinkles, no surprises!). While we had no personal interaction with her, she gave us everything we wanted- permission to meet a little boy we were dying to get to know, hold, & love.
We left there & headed to the orphanage at 9:50am, arriving at the orphanage at 10:20. The director was in meetings & we were told that we would meet at noon, so we sat with a lady in charge of paperwork. She gave us coffee and tea & we visited about the orphanage, as Galya & Ostap talked business with her. Then a quick, surprising twist- the head director had arrived and someone came to announce that he would see us then. So at 10:40, we walked as fast as rubber legs could carry us. The hall was probably about 40 feet, but it seemed like a mile & a half- we couldn’t get there quick enough! Thankfully, he was a very warm & friendly gentleman who made us feel welcomed right away. After a greeting, he began to explain the next few steps of the process. He also shared that the boy had came from his birth hospital to the orphanage. Since that time, the boy had no visitors- neither mother, or family, nor any
Then at 10:55 the head of the physician’s team (I believe that is her title) joined us to share the medical history of the boy. As she went through a lengthy handwritten medical folder, we learned the following points: born to a single, unwed mother on 2/11/07; approximately 5 lbs, 6oz at birth; negative for TB; does have a slight, correctable hernia in his groin (which they wouldn’t consider operating on until his was 3 years old); he is very physical active; has delayed speech development (which is normal in an orphanage). At the end of her report they asked if we had any questions, and we clarified a couple of things. Then the director asked if we understood everything, and if we still wanted to meet the boy after the report. We quickly assured him YES!
He gave the directive to one of the nurses and she went to bring the boy in. A few minutes later, 11:15am on Dec 1st, she reappeared carrying the boy we knew would be our son! (It’s 2 days later & I’m tearing up now recalling our first glance at that perfect child!) She had woke him from a nap, so he had crocodile tears on his checks, was a bit fussy, and was perfect! All the strangers in the room alarmed him at first, and she held him on her lap across the room a bit. But the doctor wanted us to witness him walking, so she put him down & he cried again. The nurse bounced out and brought him three cookies & he quieted and walked around the room- I think. Something got into my eye at this point and it was pretty misty- later I realized it was my heart that was causing the problem. A few minutes later, the director offered us a chance to go & play with the boy and interact with him- we jumped at the offer!
But first the director assured us that there was no rush & we could take our time and decide if the boy was right for us. Then he stated what the translator told us is a traditional Ukrainian saying “As you travel your journey, God be with You!” (that’s as close as I can remember now.) Trying to think on my feet, with a rattled state of mind, I mustered a short response, and Ostap told him, “God has brought us here, and we thank you for caring for the boy until it was our time”. The director smiled and wished us well.
The staff suggested that he is used to women, and that he should transition to Barb’s lap. They placed him there and he looked pretty content (grasping two cookies in one hand and another in the other). Barb looked awful content too. I just kept thinking… “Three cookies in two little hands- THAT’S My Boy!” The nurse got a rubber play ball. I started bouncing it & placing it in his arms. He began to warm up, and we saw a quick soft smile- but he hesitated, unsure of everything around him. After about 15 minutes I took him from Barb & held him on my lap. I was growing more confident each moment that God was in control, and everything was right with “our family”. Looking at Barb, I told her I thought he was perfect, and I asked her if she had any doubts. She confirmed the obvious- that we were both pretty much in love with the idea of him being our son. Next I turned to the nurse & facilitators visiting across the room in their native tongue, and I announced that we were ready to go- and the boy was ready for his new home! The nurse laughed, and spoke, and then I was reminded that there was much paperwork to be done.
So for the next hour, Barb & I passed him back and forth as we played ball, peek-a-boo, and he finished his cookies. Meanwhile the adults sat at a table and discussed paperwork details (I think). Then the nurse went to see the director and he signed a paper issuing the right to begin his adoption to the Daughertys of Raymond, IL, USA. By now it was getting close to 12:30, and his lunch time. So we carried him to his floor (2nd) and hugged, kissed him, and assured him that we’d be back tomorrow, the next day, and forever. I am usually pretty vocal, and address people on any number of topics. But I struggled to muster my voice as I whispered in the ear of a 21 month old, “You’re no longer an orphan- you’re our son!”
Finally Galya, Ostap, Barb & I went for pizza. While there at 2:30pm, I was grateful Dr. Quarton took my 6:30am call at his home in the states. I was able to discuss a couple of the medical issues the staff had explained to us and confirmed their conclusions. (Little did I realize that I would be calling him on the morn of his 40th birthday! Congrats to the Ironman!) Meanwhile, Ostap made some phone calls about apartments that the nurse had told him about. One sounded really promising so after lunch we went to visit it. Once we saw it, and realized the excellent location it is in, we decided we were staying. It has been extensively remodeled, allowing us to avoid some of the horror stories we had been warned of. Hot water from 6am-11pm through the facility, then an instant, on-demand, water appliance would kick in if you needed it to. A microwave, a washing machine, comfortable furniture, a grocery store across the street, and a free internet café/restaurant a few blocks away (9 minute walk) all make this place a plus. So we began to settle in. After Galya & Ostap departed, we got unpacked clothes, and went to the grocery store.
So the saddest part of our day was around 6:30pm, when Ostap took Gayla back to the train station for her return train to
Special note to Cardinal Fans around the globe: Earlier as I referred to the boy holding the cookies… I didn’t want to get you too excited… BUT… the two in one hand, I’m sure he was holding them with a split finger grip--- IN HIS LEFT HAND! SO Monday night we went to bed as nervous parents to be. Anxious to see our boy tomorrow, praying that God watches over him and keeps him under His watchful care.
That was just Monday… AND NOW FOR TUESDAY…
Ostap picked us up at 7:30am and we headed for the orphanage. Today is “medical exam day” for an orphan boy wanting to live in
Then at 9am we departed for the hospital with Ostap & Nurse Tonya in the front, and the boy riding in the back seat with Barb & me. It was his first automobile ride, and he struggled to soak everything in! (It was also immediately after his breakfast, and praise God everything stayed in!) His simple amazement was evident- everything around him was moving, and he had to see it all! Then he discovered he could reach out for things, but he found that when his hand hit the glass- it stopped! When the car stopped, he stared as cars pulled alongside, then one of the cars pulled away. As the ride went along, he gripped my finger and seemed to get more comfortable. We have observed several times the making of “clenched fists” when he seems tense. As he got tired, he interlocked his 8 fingers & thumb, while maintaining one free thumb to insert in his mouth to pacify himself. I interceded at this time and separated his hands & gave him my finger instead- which he accepted & clenched as he nodded off about 9:50am. We want to make him feel protected by us (and let him realize he is not independent & self-sufficient any longer)… and I enjoyed it too!
The boy, whom we are now calling “Perfect”, (which is short for “the Perfect Boy”) slept until we arrived at the hospital about 10:50am. He saw 6 specialist- ear/nose/throat, cardiologist, dermatologist, psychologist, and I don’t know which other “ologist”- we’ll receive all the written conclusions soon. (Note to Dr Q- as we discussed economic standards, Ostap informed us of that the average doctor makes about 1000 greevna or 150 US dollars/month. The nurses make about a hundred dollars/month. You may wish to reconsider any plans you may have had about opening your satellite office in
So we dropped off Perfect, and went for our own lunch. After that- on to a new office- to sign more paperwork. Everyone here is very friendly about the adoption process, and seems happy to help us- but there is a mountain of papers to sign, in multiple offices. We are beginning to understand why it takes so long. But this afternoon, they prepared very important papers for our petition to the court to adopt Perfect.
At 5:15pm Ostap took us back to the orphanage to spend a little more “Perfect” time. Oh, earlier today we had an opportunity to stop and shop… for a few toys… and we carried our first baggie of animal crackers. We gave Perfect a toy car & 3 animal crackers. His possessive spirit surfaced and he would not let us touch the car again, we tried to reassure him that he could have it back. He loved the cookies, and after eating those, he kept looking over to the bag on the couch- knowing more had to be there. Well, bedtime was drawing close, and we were wanting to be responsible…. but Perfect wanted them, so we gave him more! (I believe tomorrow we smuggle in a Coke- it will be Zero, of course- not the hard stuff!) But he played peek-a-boo with Barb, he had a few grins & smiles- but the big day out in freedom had to of exhausted him, it did us! So we ended holding him on the couch, Barb sang & I rocked him. He began to fall asleep. His fists clenched & his hands went to his mouth. I immediately took my thumbs & separated his hands- and he immediately clutched onto my thumbs. As he fell tired, we had to pass him back to the nurse- this part is getting tough!
While most of these blog entries are being composed by Darrin, I always ask Barb to preview them prior to my posting. You may have noticed that I am quite taken with Perfect. But I don’t think I could begin to relate the joy that Barb has found over here as well. I never thought I would enjoy watching my wife fall in love with another man- but it is exciting! As they bring Perfect into the room, her eyes light up with a new enthusiasm and purpose. Her giggles and grins are reflected onto him, and it is beginning to catch on with him. Although he is warming slowly, she fell in love fast. She has given her heart completely, and he is a very lucky man- I know that from a first hand experience 18 years ago. What more can I say: Everything in our family’s little corner of
Finally on the way home, Ostap took us by and introduced us to the local WIFI hot-spot. There I posted the very quick blog entry about the “New Prince Ruling Our Lives”, and then it was back to the apartment. We also just talked to Galya in
But not the Perfect Child, he already has parents who love him, and he’s stealing their hearts, as they make preparations to move him to his new kingdom where he will most likely reign…
Tomorrow will be another great day as well… we’ll be back at the orphanage in the morning.
Hoping your days are as bright as ours, and God is blessing you with all your needs as well.
Love from
Darrin, Barb, & Perfect
P.S. Hope you’re enjoying our blog. This is really good stuff! I know your advanced readings may cut into my book sales later. I was planning to finance his college with a novel idea I had developed called “From (the Former) Russia With Love”. I thought it had a nice ring to it… and someone told me a similar title had worked well for the Bond people.
