New church design

Hey Pleasant Hill:

We have been discussing a new church facility that would have high ceilings and allow us to play basketball & volleyball. I located this place and have gotten thier architects name.

Darrin

Recalling Wednesday and Thursday

Hello from Sunshiny Downtown Donetsk!

On Thursday we were in a beautiful mood. We have had sunshine from 10AM-until dark at 4:30pm! We have only seen the sun two other times since arriving in Ukraine; once for about 3 hours, and once for 2 hours.

But we were also in a great mood as we reflected on all the fun we had the previous day (Wednesday) at the orphanage as well! After some morning errands, we got to the orphanage about noon. Visiting hours start at 12:30, so we waited upstairs. The staff thought the outdoor air would be good for the boy, so they were going to bundle him up. With a limited staff, I don’t believe the children get outside a whole lot- especially not in the winter. At 12:30PM we made our way down the stairs, and at the bottom of the stairs- there stood our son (bundled and wrapped to hit the outdoors)! At first he had a tear as he saw the strangers again, but the nurse quickly reminded him that MAMA & PAPA (a couple of Ukrainian words we have come to know) were back to play with him. As she nudged him forwards, I scooped him up, and quickly headed out the door. As soon as the big, grey, steel door opened and his eyes captured the outdoor sunshine, he light up as well. We walked over to the swing, and sat him down. He looked very uncertain, but he relaxed a little and sat there still, without much reaction to us or the swing. So we took him off there and let him start to walk around on the broken asphalt sidewalk. At first he pulled his hand away from ours and walked alone. But the boots he had on were much worn and had slick bottoms. The pavement was still damp from rain the previous two days and as he soon hit a wet spot, his foot slipped out, but he is mobile & balanced enough to correct himself and not fall. Immediately after that, I took his hand and he clasped on pretty good now.

So we walked around the grounds, Barb on my right side with this unique individual we have learned to call our son grasping our fingers between us. It was cool outside, but everything was perfect in our world! Stray dogs run everywhere over here. He would get animated when he would see one of them. We know he has spent time outdoors, and the children have probably been warned to stay away from the dogs. Each time he would see a dog he would watch it and call out “woof-woof”. Then he would stick his lips out and bite his teeth together several times in a row. So we believe the children are aware of the dangers of dog biting. (This was later confirmed through a conversation with another American parent who told us her 4 year old adoptee wouldn’t pet a dog in the states until he was almost 6.) After about 20-25 minutes his perfect face began to turn red. He already has a cough in his chest, so we went back inside. The only other word we heard him say perfectly outside, as we watched the birds, was Cardinal (with a capital C). Yeap- this boy is a keeper!

We returned to the indoor visitors lobby & unbundled him. We had no idea of how he would react during the next two hours- our first measurable time alone with him. At first he was pretty quiet as we played with some stuffed animals. We had brought him another toy, and he clutched the squeaky animal. But he seems to have energy… and wanted to run (what a surprise from a 21 month old!). The visitors lobby has an open hallway running across one end of it. So after he started moving, he realized he could run about 30 feet to one end of the hallway and get away from us. As parents- we walk a fine line between giving our 21 month old his space, and making him realize we are in charge. (Don’t I sound so intelligent after seeing my son for an accumulation of about 6 hours at this point!) The other issue was that nurses were in and out of office doors & we were watching him run past them/away from us. So we were afraid to look like irresponsibly parents, and just leave the child sitting down there by himself against the wall. So we took turns picking him up & carrying him back to the lobby. We would interact & play for a while, and then he would sprint off again. We would leave him there a few moments (or until a nurse walked through) then go down and carry him back. This pattern dominated the first 30 minutes of play time. Then we gave him an animal cracker.

The crackers here are harder than ours in the US, and he loves to “crack” off a piece with his mouth full of teeth. But it is evident that he knows the value of the cookie. He’ll start with biting off a third and chewing it up. He is careful about chewing and swallowing that whole bite before taking another. But as the cookie gets smaller in his hand, he will bite smaller, and then nibble at the remaining piece between the thumb & forefinger. It may take him 5-7 minute to eat one animal cookie. He obviously doesn’t get a lot of this kind of snack, or has learned to make them last. His competitive, institutionalized nature also becomes evident if you attempt to reach towards him as he is eating or holding anything. If you try to help him, he will clutch the item in a death grip and either draw it close to his chest with both hands, or twist his body to swing the item back behind himself so you will NOT get it.

So after a cookie, we continued to play and another set of adoptive parents arrived to play with their child. A couple from France, but the father speaks broken English. (So we could communicate good, 'cause I speak broken English two!) Their boy is 26 months old, so the two boys interacted some. Our perfect boy really liked the others’ book- confirming that our son is a scholar! But we discovered that he is all boy, and enjoys the rough housing. Tossing him in the air, spinning him around, hitting his head against the ceiling all bring a smile to his face. Okay- DCFS, we didn’t really hit his head on the ceiling! But he is a tough character. He ran into the piano once and smacked his head, but he took a step back, rubbed his forehead, and took off again. I kept thinking, wow- he’s tough; if that was Kerry Woods or Carlos Zambrano, he’d be on the DL for 4 weeks! (Okay- enough Cub bashing for this installment!)

But as the day moved on, it seemed like he repeated the pattern of running down the hall “to take breathers, and maintain his space from us”. But as we became more comfortable with the situation, we stopped chasing him. (Maybe we were just wearing out!) But we’d stay in the lobby and visit with him, and then he would come back. We continued to play and eat cookies, after the second cookie he learned to point at the bag to indicate that he wanted more. Although we didn’t give in every time, we communicated that he had to sit down by us, and not run while eating his cookie. It worked; when I would pat the couch next to Barb, he would climb up and sit down, then eat a cookie. As the afternoon progressed, when he would sprint off, we wouldn’t even move to the hallway to watch him- “tuning in” instead to his footsteps on the concrete hallway. He would take 10-15 steps, then stop and turn around as he had been doing, but now we would not be standing there watching him. Then he’d take a few more steps, and we only maintained verbal contact with him. He might get halfway down the hall, but without seeing us watching him, he would turn around and come back to the lobby. We are hopeful that it was a bonding experience, and he (and us) are learning boundaries. Either that- or when he couldn’t see us, he was coming back to keep an eye on his cookies!

So the fun continued for several hours, and about 2:30pm he started to slow down & rub his eyes. About 3pm the nurse came and indicated he needed a nap prior to dinner time. As much as we hated to leave him, we realized it was probably best. So we hugged & kissed & said goodbye to the nurse our son. The nurse did grasp his diaper, say “Pampers” and point at us, indicating that we should bring Pampers. Yes “Pampers” is an international word.

So we called our facilitator, who was out doing paperwork, and about 3:45 he arrived to pick us up. We went to a different WI-FI restaurant (this one too has its menu printed in Ukraine with English translation), then Barb & I walked to the grocery store and on home. Our sleep patterns are still a little wacky. So feeling contentment with the interaction with our son, and exhausted from continued travel, errands- and chasing my son- I went to bed at 7PM. I was quickly asleep- but wide awake at 2:30am Thursday- had my 6 hours sleep too quickly!

So Thursday Morning the sun rose as I sat at the kitchen table with laptop & my journal until 6AM. Then I went back to bed and tried to sleep. About 6:30am Barb awoke & as we lay talking, my cell phone rang about 6:45am. (I though I was back in America for a moment!) Two other couples from our group had arrived in Donetsk at the train station with Galya. One was meeting an 18 month old at the same orphanage we are at. The other was traveling on to a city about 60 miles away to adopt a 16 year old they had met before. The problem was the one couple was meeting the 18 month old Thursday morning & the other couple (the Adams, whom we meet in Kiev on Saturday night) needed a place to hang out & relax. So Ostap brought the Adams and the entire luggage from the Adams, and the other couple, to our apartment. Then Ostap went back to train to pick up Galya and the other couple, the Williamsons, from the train station to begin their journey to the orphanage to meet their son. So we visited with the Adams for a while, and then they took a nap on our pull-out sofa.

Meanwhile, I ran an errand back to the grocery store- remember I told you about the grocery trip Wednesday night. We know that “Monoko” spells milk. But what we hadn’t learned is that the blue cap is regular milk, while the green cap is buttermilk! Barb wasn’t eating buttermilk on her cereal this morning! So, I went back for the blue cap.

The rest of the day was up and down, we ran all day (from noon until 9PM) but never got back to the orphanage to see our son. From the notary’s office, to this office, to that office, and beyond! We had to travel to another city about 90 minutes away to get a signature in the county where the boy was born. We traveled to the train station to put a package of papers on the freight car to arrive in Kiev Friday at 7am- items that need registered in the capital city for our adoption to happen. We also went to the airport to pick up a delayed piece of Williamson’s luggage, and a lot more. So A LOT of very positive paperwork got accomplished, that helped us take great steps forward. The orphanage has set a “court hearing” scheduled to enter our petition for adoption into the court system. That date is set for next Thursday (Dec 11^th). That officially begins a 10 day waiting period when the court has to wait for the adoption to be contested. In our case, the mother signed away rights at birth. As you may recall, the orphanage director said “that mother, family, or no other Ukrainians had ever came to contact the child”. So nobody sees any red flags, but we continue to pray that God keeps things rolling along smoothly. It is amazing some of the things that He has already blessed us with since our arrival!

The excellent news came while meeting Veta, the paperwork lady from the orphanage. The boy’s blood work came back negative for HIV infection. The orphanage had told us that he had been tested 3 times in his first 8 months; all tests were negative, indicating that he would stay negative. Dr Quarton confirmed this during an earlier phone call. But, to be sure, the director offered a repeated test to reassure us, and we wanted it done. God is good, and kept the boy safe- his mother was known to be HIV positive.

About 10PM Thursday evening, Barb & I knocked out pretty quickly! Besides tossing & turning on a mattress, I slept until 6:30am this morning (Friday). I am praying that this will mark my return to a normal sleep pattern!

Our day is beginning. It will soon be 10am and I hope to get this installment posted so you’ll have news to read as you awake. We have discussed walking to the bank to exchange some currency. Then maybe up to Lenin Square to take some photos of the park & statue of the former leader. But our hearts are focused on returning to the orphanage shortly after noon. We can’t wait to hug that little boy again. We keep reminding him that his parents will soon take him to his home, and he’ll be blessed by meeting all of you as well.

Thanks for reading, praying, and remembering us. It’s hard to believe we’ve been here 11 days already. What a mighty work God can do in such a short time… “to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine” EPH 3:20… Barb & I continue to give Him all the glory!

Darrin, Barb, & Perfect